#and where did it all lead you
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Of all the themes in Mouthwashing, I think the themes of punishment and virtue are the most subtle.
It’s so odd because it’s a subversion where all the characters are punished for their virtues more than their flaws except Jimmy. Curly sees the best and people and tries to do right by all parties whether deserving or not. He is then forced to see everyone fall to their worst states while he can’t do anything. Daisuke is optimistic and hopeful, playful to a fault and a big morale. He dies in agony the one time he is forced to act in a serious event. Anya is kind and capable, knowledgeable in her field. Yet, she is treated like a dunce and does being treated like a dead weight.
The only characters who aren’t punished per se are those without direct virtues. Swansea is ornery and rude the moment we meet him, Jimmy is self explanatory. Yet, Swansea is still punished with Daisuke’s death, while Jimmy escapes in a way. Not having to face the final aftermath or even acknowledging how he could never really fix it. He suffers and is tormented, but he doesn’t really care because in his mind he didn’t fail in his head of proving something to Curly.
This is rambling y really but it really is the theme of no good deed but to the extreme. Good people punished for their attempts at virtue while the bad person victimizes themself over their suffering.
#I mainly think of this because I started seeing so many posts blaming curly for not stopping Jimmy and leading to this#but that’s the exact thing Jimmy would want in the end where he skirts direct blame behind everyone else#however it was Jimmy who started it all he freaked out first#he assaulted Anya and stiff armed all attempts at taking accountability from Curly or being presented with his actions#he goes unpunished and still other than having hate pieces written about him he skirts it in fan discussions#like it’s so hard to explain it without sounding like no one could have done anything but they shouldn’t have had to do something#because Jimmy shouldn’t have done what he did at any point and while others had a responsibility to negate it is only his fault it occurred#tdlr don’t let Jimmy skirt most of the blame#mouthwashing#mouthwashing spoilers#Mouthwashing game#like this is a scenario where you would be punished for doing the right thing considering the context and I wonder if that’s intentional#Jimmy really is the one bad apple that spoils the bunch
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did you know that coo is canonically lonely? {shipaganza prompt by @veveisveryuncool}
#my art#my comics#starstruck dee#coo kirby#🎀💖#i think it would be hard being nocturnal when all your friends are diurnal and go to sleep early! i think it WOULD be lonely#in my headcanons waddle dees generally tend to go to bed early. like many other things about her starstruck's an outlier in that regard#she's often up at night stargazing when she can't sleep; but she is also the sort to tucker out suddenly and crash#also i think that coo CAN have a cozy little tree hollow with amenities! and stairs; so that his non-winged friends can visit anytime!#and the important one: is this canon to her storyline? not sure. i think... unlikely. but even if it was it might be a bit one-sided.#he's unlikely to confess to her (awake) face and she's dense as lead. you need to be really upfront with her or you'll get nowhere.#anyway. did i do it?? is this 💝Rhomance💝?#what if i wrote a four and a half page comic where coo the owl pined over my oc?? could anybody stop me? i think not!#“romantic comic about an owl and a circle” <- another banger comment left by veve and i think it about sums it up
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I Need Your Help...
CW/ mpreg, language, slight angst
Pt. 1
St@nley heard the nauseating sizzle before the pain registered, radiating white hot agony from where the back of his right shoulder made contact with the metallic mass he was pressed against. A tortured scream tore itself from his throat as he tried to wriggle himself away from the hot steel. He crumbled to a heap on the floor, eyes squeezed shut as he gripped his shoulder.
"St@nley!!" F0rd's voice rang as he scrambled up to his feet, a mortified expression plastered to his face as he rushed to his brother, book in hand.
It all happened so fast…
One moment Stanf0rd was explaining the basics of his plan: to take his journal and take it far, FAR away, where it could never be stumbled upon again… and in the next, he ended up tackling his brother to get it back when the latter threatened to burn the damn thing. It turned into a violent game of keep-away, with them pushing and shoving and cursing each other as they each tried to pry it from one another's grasp. The tussle lasted several minutes… and ultimately led him to unintentionally slamming his brother up against the blazing surface of one of his machines.
How could it have gone so wrong?
Breathing harshly through his teeth, St@n stiffly managed to sit upright enough to lean his good shoulder on the doorway, his left hand white-knuckling the fabric of his jacket sleeve as he attempted to quell the feverish throbbing. His vision was blurred, his ears were ringing, and he could just barely make out that a figure was approaching him… speaking to him… or maybe at him, but in that moment it only read as static and noise.
He felt like a cornered animal. And with a fresh rush of adrenaline, instinct overcame rationale in a flurry of pain and pure, pent up rage...
F0rd knelt down in front of him, frantically apologizing and trying to assess the damage. "Ohhh my gosh I'm so sorry!! Are you alr-" but his words were abruptly cut off as St@n's fist made blunt contact with the underside of his chin before he could come any closer, knocking him silly for a brief moment. He stumbled back, dropping the journal, and landed flat on his ass a few feet across from him. He groaned into his hand as it caressed his aching jaw.
"What the HELL is wrong with you??!" St@nley exclaimed scornfully. "Are you CRAZY??!"
"ME??!" came a muffled response before F0rd uncovered his mouth. "You punched me in the FACE!!"
"YOU tackled me to the ground over a goddamn BOOK, you jackass!!" A frustrated, pained sound slipped past St@n's lips. 'Scorched the SHIT outta my shoulder too... fuck!...' he thought bitterly. The pain of the burn was slowly dulling enough to become manageable but was still deafeningly there. "Do you not see how insane that is?? Do you have ANY idea what you could've-... y-you could've..." His face suddenly fell, his complexion somehow paling even more than it already had. Quietly mumbling an inaudible 'Oh no!.,' he shakily fumbled with the zipper of his jacket.
F0rd was about to spat a venomous retort… then all those thoughts vanished as he watched his brother, who's attention was no longer on him at the moment...
Self-consciousness took a back seat as, with a little less effort than he'd like to admit, St@nley all but tore his jacket open... fully revealing the impressively sized bump as he frantically palpated the sides with his free hand. In the heat of the moment, he'd temporarily neglected the fact that he had a passenger on board, and an air of fear and desperation loomed in his eyes as he tried to garner SOME reaction from the babe inside. He couldn't take the possibility of anything happening to them as a result of carelessness on his part. Not after they've stuck with him this long...
After a tense wait, he jumped slightly when he received a harsh yet responsive jab(what was most likely a punch back of annoyance from the little one for disturbing their peace). "Ohhhh you're okay... you're okay..," he breathed, more to convince himself than anyone else, as he let his head fall back against the doorframe.
Meanwhile, F0rd's nerves were steadily building in intensity. Realization hit him with the force of a semi truck, but the shock made it hard to formulate the words that were buzzing in his exhausted brain. How in the world did he not notice until now?!... "St@nley, I... You... Y-You're..?"
St@nley's eyes popped back open, making contact with his brother's... before following his gaze back to his own stomach. He groaned, exasperated. He knew this conversation was coming, he dreaded it the entire drive up here... now the proverbial cat was out of the bag. "Right... um..." He did a half-hearted, one handed mock 'jazz hands' motion. "Surprise, I guess... You're gonna be an uncle."
"Pregnant?!..." came a shrill, horrified whisper.
"Figured that was obvious, poindexter."
"Why didn't you tell me you were PREGNANT??!!"
"Oh I dunno, maybe cuz I thought you were in trouble?? That the message you sent was clearly urgent and you needed HELP??"
Stanf0rd, his head swimming from both the adrenaline rush wearing off as well as the slew of new information he'd just been forced to absorb, promptly flopped to the ground onto his back. He covered his face with his hands, breathing out a rather defeated sound. "I should've never sent that damned postcard..."
St@n huffed. "What? Was I supposed to just NOT come, then?? I didn't haul ass all the way from New Mexico just because! I had to!! You're my freakin' brother, I couldn't leave ya hangin' if I knew you were in trouble!"
"Still..," F0rd let his hands fall from his face and out to his sides. "It was reckless to come all this way when you're in such a..," he fumbled for the right words, " ... condition."
"Do you seriously think I'd skip out on ya over an inconvenience? I'm pregnant, F0rd, not inert."
F0rd opened his mouth as if to respond, but quickly gave up. The pain from where he'd been slugged was starting to made it difficult to speak.
The room went quiet, sans the sounds of machinery blipping, metallic creaking, as well as each of their own attempts to regulate their breathing. They stayed like that for a while, simmering down.
St@nley glanced over to see that the journal, the very thing they were hashing it out over just mere minutes ago, had landed within arms reach of himself. He reached for it, grunting when the movement made his core muscles tense up. He ignored it and and picked the book up. He let go of his shoulder to hold it in both hands, turning it over and inspecting the leather craftsmanship.
Flipping through a few random pages, though the written contents read more or less like Greek to him, it was obvious the sheer amount of love and passion that went into putting the thing together. The time and effort put into the extensive research documented on every single page was astounding. All in his brother's recognizable penmanship…. 'And here I was about to set it on fire..," he thought with a slight pang of guilt.
"What're we doing, Stanf0rd?..," he finally spoke up. "It's not been an hour since I got here and we've already been at each other's throats…"
"Yeah... yeah, no kidding..," F0rd sighed. "We might've lost our heads a bit, there... er, I did..." he admitted, solemnly. "I panicked... reacted rashly..." An apology seemed to hang loosely from his lips, but he didn't quite allow it to slip.
St@nley recognized that but decided not to comment on it. He made an amused sound. This all suddenly felt very familiar. It felt a lot like one of those times when they were just kids, when Ma would not-so-gently encourage them to reconcile after one of their petty skirmishes... skirmishes not unlike that of street cats duking it out over a stolen fish from the boardwalk docks. Seemed it was what Jersey boys did best: Fight. Fight and then make up as if they weren't just about to kick the ever-loving shit out of each other. Oh the nostalgia... Maybe they hadn’t completely changed all that much, after all…
St@n looked back to his brother, who was still sprawled out like a starfish on the floor. A deep sigh rolled from his chest. "Listen..," he started, voice just loud enough to hear over the white noise of the lab, "just so you know, even if there was no emergency... even if there was no rhyme or reason to send for me... I still had every intention to come when you asked me to." He swallowed, hesitating continuing the thought… but pressed on. He needed to say this. "... I wanted to see you, Stanf0rd. I've wanted to for a long, long time..."
F0rd remained quiet, head tilted in his brother's direction, listening.
"I just… after all this time, after all these years, I just thought… maybe you actually wanted to see me again too…"
"..."
"I've missed you, brother…"
F0rd's face softened for a moment, emotions could be seen conflicting behind his eyes. It seemed like he'd wanted so badly to say something... to say anything to clear things up... but right then the appropriate words came up short. He squeezed his eyes shut, steeling himself as he turned back away from St@nley, facing back to the tall ceiling. "You should've stayed home."
And just like that they were plunged back into deafening silence. The gap between them seemed to grow ever so slightly wider once more.
Then, as if on cue (and much to St@horror), an obnoxiously loud but familiar gurgle broke the silence, echoing off the metal bunker walls. His face went beet red as he pressed his hands to his stomach, in a frugal attempt to silence it. "Ah geez…" he mumbled under his breath.
At first it wasn't clear if F0rd had acknowledged the sudden sound or not, as he still laid motionless where he was, but after a moment he let out a soft sigh before limply dragging himself up from the floor, dusting himself off in the process. It was then that he approached his brother... and offered his hand. "Take this to the kitchen?"
From his spot on the floor, St@nley's eyes bounced coldly from F0rd's eyes to his hand before finally accepting the aid. After a quick countdown to 3, and then another as they attempted to get momentum on their side, he was hefted back onto his feet with an unintentional grunt of discomfort. Not only did his shoulder sting like hell, but the already strained muscles in his back knotted up in protest as he stood.
To be honest everything hurt, but he tried not to let it show too much. Instead, he awkwardly shoved his hands back into his pockets.
Er, he attempted to, only to realize in one he still held tight to the leatherback of the journal.
"I didn't come here expecting you to feed me, y'know," he grumbled as he held the book out to his brother, who took it notably less aggressively in comparison to earlier.
"Oh shut up and come eat," F0rd muttered flatly as he passed his brother, meandering lazily towards the elevator. "We'll get a look at that shoulder while we're at it..."
St@n rolled his eyes but diligently followed. His gaze landed on his belly as he walked, where the kid really hadn't stopped moving, obviously still agitated by the rude awakening from earlier. He placed his hand atop the bump just under his ribs, where he could feel what he assumed was their foot. "Your uncle's a real piece of work, kiddo. Remember that."
'But he's family…,' he added mentally to himself, 'Remember that, St@nley...’
TBC
#mpreg#mpreg fic#not kink#PaternityF@lls-St@n#is that a dumb tag? I kinda think it’s funny lol#INeedYourHelpFic#but anyways…#HI#I WROTE A THING#Since I've had next to NO time to draw the past couple weeks#*queue internal screaming*#I decided to dip into the next best thing: WRITING#The reason i started where I did was cuz I think the lead up would likely take place the same way as canon#only exception is that Fo/rd doesn't get sucked into the portal... at least not yet >>'#But let me know what you guys think!!#Did i keep them in character enough??#Is there too much angst?? TOO BAD cuz there's gonna be more#LOTS MORE#ALL HAIL THE ANGST👹#who said that?...#i blacked out for a sec there...#Also I'm still feeling around for the title of this narrative#gonna have to brainstorm as i am AWFUL at naming fics🥲
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thinking about the relationship between mightily oats' "the worthwhile [words] don't burn" and constable dorfl's "the words in the heart cannot be taken"
#especially the journey both of them had to go through to get to the point of saying that. like the whole of carpe jugulum oats was so TORN#and before that too about what words could you believe and who could you really trust on their word about om and the prophets and he went#out of his way to look up records disproving what the book of om said bc he KNEW nothing they said could be believed and just all the pain#and all that doubt he went thru and the part where he questioned om's 'infinite compassion' as he prayed bc really what compassion?#how many people prayed at the stake just like he was doing in that moment? how many people had to live with the silence of their god just#like he did? but still when his book of om – that he clung to the whole book for reassurance – burned he said the worthily words don't burn#the worthily words are in the heart and in the mind and not feed into his mouth by old man who just#made things up to justify their actions. he had all the words he needded the whole time and holiness was always all around him. he just had#to look#and dorfl being created with words in his head that dictated his every move . words that chained him. then he and the other golems created#'king' for themselves in the hope he'd lead them to freedom but they put too many words in his head and he failed and carrot gave dorfl his#own freedom and his own words and that lead to dorfl destroying his well child basically and destroying himself in the process but the word#in his heart his OWN words remained and they were able to rebuilt him and vimes give him a voice and his words and belief remained in him b#they were always his#god. sorry for the ramble im severally unwell about them#mightily oats#constable dorfl#carpe jugulum#feet of clay#gnu terry pratchett#discworld
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it's one of my favourite personal headcanons that Scorpius has a grey fluffy pet cat with a clipped ear and three legs that he found abandoned as a kid and was like, yep mine, and bonded over this unwanted creature cause hes like omg people dont like me very much either!! and this cat is intelligent and loyal as hell and hisses at people he doesn't think are good for Scorpius lmao
Scorpius is general has a habit of of collecting unwanted and perhaps damaged things. he has loads of creepy and broken ornaments all over his room. but I do not only mean inanimate objects, pets and people (*cough* albus *cough*) also apply
he collects them all because he can relate to them, and because he knows he can love them
#the cat scratches the fuck outta lucius whenever he was around#when als around he immeidately starts purring and jumps on his lap 🙏🏻#i also have a little scene headcanon where scorpius is in some kind of trouble and has been cornered by bullies or smin and the cat goes to#find albus and just starts cat-screaming at him until he follows and al thinks he might be going a little bit insane running after scorps#cat all over the castle but then he leads al to where scorpius is <3#i also headcanon that al finds ugly freaky trinkets to give his boyfriend and will show them to james and be like what do you think?#and james will be like 😟😟 thats the ugliest fucking thing to exist why did anyone make that??#and als like great perfect#scorpius loves it and james is confused as hell#scorpius malfoy#albus potter#scorbus#hpcc
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Nothing like Heartstopper S2E8 removing some of Taylor Swift's "seven" lyrics just so that the singing can specifically come back in at "Or hide in the closet" while Isaac is processing difficult emotions related to the book he's reading (i.e., Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen).
Did I mention "Or hide in the closet" hits just as the camera focus finishes shifting away from Isaac?
This is fine
#This is not fine#Warning: Long tags ahead (2 topics)#TOPIC 1:#I'm glad Isaac feels safe enough to be reading this book and processing emotions around his friends#That's the positive spin on “he's quietly dealing with a lot while next to his friends and they're not noticing and he's not sharing" right#The contrast of this with the happy friend-bonding montage time feels purposeful and sad (esp. with lyrics about staying in the closet)#but on the bright side this is in the midst of happy friend-bonding montage time so we also see them having happy bonding times together#- showing the friendship is still strong even if right now Isaac isn't wholly known or fully fitting#Hopefully this is leading to Isaac telling his friends what he's going through in S3 and the friendships adapting to fit him better#TOPIC 2:#Also - don't think it's unintentional that where the camera focus shifts to is Nick with his arms around Charlie and then kissing his head#I think we're being purposefully distracted from Isaac with allo 'cuteness'#Because what the other characters often get swept up in - especially as they all couple up in S2 - is alloromantic/allosexual interactions#And that's frequently what the world prioritises or cares more about too#I think the show is intentionally calling everyone - from the characters to us watching them to the whole world - out#So that hopefully we (general) can all be more aware and do better#[In case you were wondering this N&C/Isaac scene is also right after we see short clips of Elle & Tao and Tara & Darcy cuddling -#which also seems very intentional: Isaac - sandwiched in between views of cuddling couples - alone in more ways than one]#CONCLUSION:#I think everything is working together to highlight the contrast between what N&C and Isaac are respectively experiencing in this moment#Did I mention this is not fine?#It is well done though#heartstopper mini moment#isaac henderson#aroace#aromantic asexual#lgbtqia+#queer#taylor swift#seven
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Belobog was my fave main quest but a lot of it is so. Contradictory. It's like they had multiple groups doing different shit and none of them checked in with each other for consistency. And you see this so much in Gepard's profile.
So in the main quest, they made him unfailingly, unquestionably loyal to Cocolia. Gepard's character arc is him learning to question authority etc etc. And this isn't even a bad thing; that's a story worth telling! It makes good conflict between him and Serval! And I love that we got Gepard as a boss battle and I get to see him all the time in SU!
But then you look at his character stories and it's like. The complete opposite.
According to his profile, Gepard has already HAD this awakening, long before the Astral Express, and he'd already decided Cocolia sucks. Even outside of his stories, there's a pretty damning readable between him and Pela.
He even disobeyed direct orders right in front of her- he has been disobeying orders for a while now!
So I've decided I'm marrying the two different sides of this into a 1.5k fic-ish thingy, because I think there's some fun potential there with Gepard not trusting Cocolia, but still having to pretend to be a good obedient little soldier.
Anyway. I love to think of it as like. Gepard knows Cocolia has sunk into her apathy. He can see it in her eyes every time he looks at her. She doesn't care. Not about him, not about Pela, not about all his soldiers on the frontlines giving their lives to protect the citizens. And that's... It makes him bristle a bit, but ok. Gepard can deal with this. Even if Cocolia no longer cares, as long as she does her job then it's fine. Having compassion behind an action doesn't matter as much as the action itself. If Cocolia's heart is no longer swayed, then he'll just have to care twice as hard to pick up the slack. He considers it part of his duty as a captain of the guard anyway. It's fine. Gepard can deal with it.
And then, Cocolia starts coming down to the restricted zone. Issuing direct orders.
And Gepard realizes he is in way over his head.
Because Cocolia orders him to stay back and issue commands from the ramparts, away from all his comrades, away from where he can protect them.
Gepard had thought nothing could be as bad as watching a fellow guard die right next to him. But the first time he watches someone struck by a killing blow, so far away, it hurts. Every defensive scar across his arms itches, his fingers curl in want of a weapon, the cold cannot numb his hands enough as they desperately ache for his shield. It hurts.
Gepard tries to find any reason to stay. Because surely... He knows Cocolia has lost her love for her people, but surely... She wouldn't...
One day, Cocolia orders for their gunners to advance 20 yards. There are no survivors. She almost looks like she smiles.
Gepard doesn't sleep that night.
Pela brings him the report at the end of the first month; and then the month after that, and the month after that. A significant uptick in losses, and all of it started on that first day Cocolia started overriding his authority and issuing her own orders. The ends of Gepard's pens have all been nearly chewed off. Pela outright calls Cocolia an idiot, and Gepard corrects her. Cocolia isn't an idiot. Gepard had known her through Serval, knew her through all her college years and then some, and he knows how intelligent she is. It's not that she's stupid, and it's not that she's inexperienced, it's nothing of the sort.
Cocolia knows exactly what she's doing.
She must, there's no way she could make such a horrible mess of things so badly by accident. And Pela, quick as a whip, sharp as a tack, always too smart for her own good, catches onto the meaning behind Gepard's correction without any further prompting. The tent goes deathly quiet, nothing but the wind howling outside.
"...She's trying to kill us," Pela whispers, her voice swiftly suffocated by the silence.
Gepard swallows. He can't bring himself to correct her this time. There is nothing he could say that he would actually mean.
His gaze drops, back down to his desk and the reports on it. The names aren't listed, just the numbers, but Gepard knows them, knew them, and there must be something wrong, something he's missing, because why, why would she-? What could this possibly accomplish-?
“Gepard! Focus!” Something snaps right under his nose, and Gepard startles, eyes instantly honing in on Pela's irritated face as she leans over his desk. She holds his gaze for a moment before she huffs and begins to pace, wedges a knuckle between her teeth and bites like Gepard hasn't seen her do since cadet school.
Pela angrily strides from one end of his tent to the other, words hissed between her grit teeth. “What are we going to do?” In the dim lighting, Gepard can just barely see the damp spot of blood weeping under her gloves. “We need a plan.”
“A plan?”
“Wh- Yes, a plan! Unless you want more people to die!” Pela rounds on him then, all the wrath of a blizzard, winds roaring and snow sharp enough to cut.
“We don't even know-”
“What does it matter?! She killed-!!” Pela cuts off with a garbled noise when Gepard leaps up from his desk, hastily shoves his hand over her mouth. The prosthetic, not the flesh one, because he knows better than to assume Pela won't seize the opportunity to leave teeth marks in his skin.
“You're right. I'm sorry, I'm sorry; you're right. But you need to keep quiet.” Pela quirks an eyebrow at him and Gepard can read the question in her face. “Because we both saw what she did to Serval,” he hisses.
It's amazing the snow plains haven't thawed out yet, the amount of heat Pela can put behind a glare. The mere mention of Serval, and the smoking ruins Cocolia had made of her life and career, have her bristling up like a riled cat. The sudden hot breath she takes fans fog across his metal skin, and Gepard wisely keeps it in place until Pela finally sighs and reaches up, taps her fingertips against the back of his hand.
The second she's free, Pela bats him away and then her knuckle is right back between her teeth again, Gepard leaning back against his desk with his arms crossed to watch her resume her pacing. “If we spread the word, she'll have us discharged and make sure we can't even touch the frontlines,” Pela's voice seethes like an open sore. Gepard nods but keeps his silence. He knows better than to get in her way.
“And if you and I are both out of the picture, Belobog is fucked.” A little harsher than how he would have put it, but there's no denying that they're both important to the city's survival. Pela has the restricted zone running as efficiently as ever, and Gepard had become the youngest captain on record for a reason. “We need to keep this tight under wraps, at least for now… It can't leak to anyone higher up the chain.” Another nod. “Serval might know other discontents…” Another n-
Gepard's head snaps up. “No.”
“No what?”
“No. We're not involving Serval in this.”
Somehow, even the same tone that leaves entire squadrons shaking in their boots has never worked on her. “You're not deciding that for her, Gepard.”
Pela hadn't seen the worst of it, though, back when his sister had just been banned from the Architects. Serval's pride hadn't allowed it. Pela wasn't the one to find her passed out bottle still in hand, hadn't been the one to wash the sick out of her hair or carry her to bed.
Serval still has trouble thinking clearly when it comes to Cocolia, still can't quite bring herself to be objective. And Gepard maybe doesn't want her to be purely objective- but he would worry a lot less if she thought twice before she acted more often.
“At least let me be the one to bring it up to her.”
“Whatever, fine,” Pela gestures affirmatively at him as she paces past, and Gepard sighs. Good, at least that's one thing he can help.
From there, it's a lot of hemming and hawing and frustration. Cocolia has them under her boot, and Gepard and Pela both know it. Even with the way she's been cracking down on freedoms lately, Cocolia is still, overall, liked by the people. It's unlikely anyone would believe them. They don't even have solid proof, because most people don't know Cocolia as well as they do and won't see the clues in the same light.
The Fragmentum has been ramping up in recent years, too. Everyone is struggling just to survive as is, they can't afford a fight on two fronts. Gepard is a damn good captain, one of the best for that matter. But they're at a massive disadvantage, his experience is narrowed to fighting a defensive battle against monsters, that's all he's ever done. That's all anyone there has ever done. He has no way of finding first-hand knowledge for taking the offensive against a human opponent, and if he goes at this blind, there's no way he'll get everyone out unscathed. He's going to lose people. He's going to lose a lot of people.
He'd never thought before that Cocolia would have it in her to have someone killed. And with this new knowledge, he has no guarantee she won't go after Serval or Lynx if she decides to retaliate.
Gepard has to remind himself to breathe when he realizes this.
Pela writes down every name the two of them can come up with. Lists and lists of names and groups and anyone they can think of who might be an ally in all of this. They memorize every bit of it, make their plans of who to talk to and when. Gepard watches the sparks reflect off Pela's glasses as they burn the evidence together.
Pela finally leaves, far too late to make it home, but says she wants to stay in the restricted zone anyway to investigate. Gepard watches her make her way in the direction of Dunn's tent, watches her back until she's out of his sight and squashes down the urge to follow and keep an eye on her. His tent feels empty.
In the morning, Gepard is up before the wake up bells. He drags himself out of bed, leads his soldiers through their morning training. The same people gravitate to each other everyday. Friend groups and training partners. There's an ongoing rivalry between a few squadrons that everyone bets on. Some of them have lockets around their necks, keepsakes, mementos. Some of them wear wedding rings.
Gepard is suddenly, painfully aware of something acidic clawing at the inside of his throat, of a heavy weight low in his chest that blooms, takes up room until it threatens to spread his ribs. His mouth tastes of bile and blood.
He rearranges the schedules. Puts himself down for every open patrol into the Fragmentum, makes sure he'll be on the frontlines every single time Cocolia visits.
He only hopes that it's enough.
#honkai star rail#gepard landau#hsr gepard#pelageya sergeyevna#hsr pela#hsr#smacking Gepard out of Hoyo's hands and running off with him skzjmdkd#tentatively Figuring Out how to write these two... It feels a little tricky starting out with extreme circumstances like this haha#I feel like a lot of people see Gepard as naive for trusting Cocolia so much but I don't think that's quite it. He's not stupid.#He's not even naive.#He's someone who has been groomed since birth by his own parents to be an obedient Guard and nothing outside of that role.#You are not immune to propaganda etc etc#But even then there are a lot of things like all the included screenshots where he. Doesn't actually seem to like/trust Cocolia much.#I think Serval was a really good influence on him as a kid. He might have turned out much much worse without her.#and even with how I've written him here. I don't think he's normally slow to act or one to stand aside and make other people lead.#it's just that this specifically was a pretty extreme circumstance for him.#and also he openly states elsewhere that Pela is overbearing and he tries not to interfere with her work whenever possible nskzhdjdjd#Pela too. I don't know that I normally see her as someone with a bad temper or quick to anger.#But again; extreme circumstances haha#Bc like. they both would have seen what happened to Serval when she stood up to Cocolia. they know damn well what's going to happen to them.#if they fuck this up and get caught then they're done.#and I mean. What are they supposed to do? they're two people against the highest authority of the entire nation.#regardless I do love Gepard agonizing over this in the future after Bronya takes over and everything has settled down#did he do the right thing? did he make the right choice? if he went vigilante how many soldiers would have died without his protection?#would Belobog have fallen completely? how many people died because he DIDN'T run away? was it actually enough?#I love characters forced between a rock and a hard place. no good options. pick your poison.#no winning- only weighing what you can and cannot bear to lose.#make your choice and decide whether you want to rot or to burn.
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Thinking about Margrace as Joshua's name post-Phoenix Gate.
Mar-grace.
In FFXVI the Undying choose their own names (Cyril explains this in-game), and many of them have names drawn from Final Fantasy XII, including their leader 'Margrace' himself, from Al-Cid Margrace. The page for Al-Cid notes that Margrace is likely an alternate form of the title 'margrave', an old title for military commanders on the border.
That aside. This is the name chosen (by the boy himself?) for the boy who should have rightfully been known henceforth as 'Your Grace', 'His Grace'.
Grace (style of address), from the Oxford English Dictionary:
With a possessive adjective: a title of respect, esp. for a person of royal or noble rank. Frequently (in 'your Grace') as a form of address. Now archaic or historical. Formerly (in England until the reign of Henry VIII and in Scotland until 1707) used for a monarch or prince; now replaced by Majesty or Highness. Even so, "Majesty" for the sovereign of England was not used exclusively; it arbitrarily alternated with both "Highness" and "Grace", even in official documents, until "Majesty" finally became the official style to the exclusion of others (source).
Grace (other meanings):
1. Divine favour, benevolence, or providence bringing about worldly benefit or advantage. 2. A person's lot, destiny, or fate; luck, fortune. 3. The quality of being pleasing; attractiveness, charm; esp. (in later use) refined elegance of manner, expression, form, or movement, esp. regarded as natural or effortless; gracefulness.
Whatever the etymology of margrave, the name Margrace in-game is probably meant to call to mind the meaning of 'mar' as in damaged, spoiled, ruined. All the grace that ever belonged to his family, his home, his birthright—marred, of course.
Mar+Grace, the last heir of the oldest unbroken ruling dynasty in the Twins at the time of the opening events of the game**.
The living ghost, carrying the desecrated corpse of his legacy in his new name. Introducing himself by his humiliation: "Hello, I am Margrace", "Hello, I am the ruined dignity of my house." "Call me Margrace", "Call me the wreckage of one fallen from divine favour." "My name is Margrace", "My name is blemished fortunes and diminished nobility".
It's appropriately brutal and dramatic for such a character, especially since the game is frustratingly silent on how Joshua personally feels about the loss of his duchy which is a rant for next time.
**Footnotes:
In the Year 860 (Prologue year/Phoenix Gate), Rosaria is about 260 years old (est. Y600). Older, if you count from the time of the Rose Alliance (est. Y550). The Rosfields have been on the Rosarian throne since the inception of the duchy in Y600, and prior to that House Rosfield was already known to be the chief of/the preeminent house of the Seven High Houses that united to found the duchy. House Rosfield has held ruling power for 260-310 years at a minimum.
For reference, England's longest-reigning dynasty was the Plantagenets, who held on for 300+ years. Rosfields aren't doing half bad!
Veldemarke would have been older had it not been overthrown by Barnabas; therefore Waloed is the youngest nation state at the time of the prologue (only 17 years old). Also we do not know much about the governance of Veldemarke, although as a 'kingdom' it was likely some type of monarchy.
Sanbreque was formed 100 years after Rosaria, and at any rate is not actually a hereditary monarchy. The Holy Emperor is voted into office by his fellow Cardinals, likely the five who form the Council of Elders. We are also explicitly told that Sylvestre 'won his throne' in 865; there is no indication either way that his predecessor emperor was a Lesage. The wording suggests the throne is not Sylvestre's by lineage or birthright. How this is supposed to relate to the concept of Sanbreque having a 'crown prince' (Dion) is unclear and contradictory, since an emperor by election should probably not have the authority to unilaterally decide on the succession of the throne, and his issue—legitimate or no—should not automatically be in the line of succession.
Dhalmekia is a republic with elected officials.
The Iron Kingdom apparently has a royal family, but nothing else is known apart from it being impotent and sidelined by their state religion.
The Northern Tribes likely do have hereditary rule, and Jill is referred to as a princess, but once again little is known.
Ergo—and I am ceaseless in this propaganda—Clive and Joshua are really, properly posh! Absolutely baffling that Anabella would allow anyone to put down the pedigree of her sons when they are so blue-blooded precisely because she is! For someone with such entrenched ideas of blood purity she should not stand for it, no matter how she feels about her eldest.
#sure i'll accept the game just gave josh this name because al-cid was from rozarria#but i like it to have additional meaning because it gives joshua depth#every time you say his name you call him a failure and a stain on his family's proud history!#how long is it until he can accept being called by his proper title#how long before it means something beyond a painful mockery or a reminder of weakness#i rather vehemently thought ffxv could have done more to showcase noctis' feelings as a king in exile#but ffxvi somehow manages to do bugger all for joshua#sorry xv i was too harsh on you#please stop creating royalty if there is no interest in exploring how that character relates to sovereignty and leadership#don't say oh but xvi did explore that with clive because yes i know they did but consider this clive is not rosaria's sovereign#ffx had no sovereigns in the main party and every relationship was solidly crafted#it's such a frustrating business because we literally know how so many other side characters feel about their kingship#yes you barnabas you made benna and sleipnir do all the talking at the consult where you were bored out of your mind lol#yes you elwin ready to send your 10-year-old into war for your people#yes you sylvestre you don't give a shit about the replaceable riffraff#we even know how martha and l'ubor feel about leading their little towns ffs#but we have only the tightly clenched fists and the cold shaking hands of a boy who died at ten#okay okay okay okay i'm not salty#ffxvi#final fantasy xvi#joshua rosfield
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honestly have come around to the conclusion its a miracle veilguard exists in as good a state as it does, with the highs it hits (the last act!), given the development hell it was stuck in, and i'm glad we got what we did even if i think there's some fundamental flaws underlying the result (some of which, tbf, would have always been an issue bc they were baked into the game's concept from go - i'm looking at you, not-inquisitor dealing with solas. but i digress.) it has a lot to recommend it, and i'm grateful it likely means bioware and dragon age live to see another day.
the pacing is still absolutely crazy though lol
#i do mourn a game where the inquisitor is either the lead or co-lead esp after watching all the possible endings#like those would have hit SO hard with the inquisitor#them just screaming at each other in the bad ending lmao imagine#and then some other spoilery stuff#but you know#still a good game and they did a really good job given the cards they were dealt#coiffure texts#da4 tag#da4 spoilers
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something about qbad mentioning how much horror he put red team thru every time purgatory gets brought up... something about how proud dapper was of him.
like this is just my late-night read but- it feels like guilt qbad is trying to twist into pride. he keeps needling away at it. “i killed them all, over and over and over again.” “they were hunted by a monster.”
it’s like- reassurance. like a nail he’s trying o beat into his head. he’s had SO much trouble with legitimately hurting his friends, despite making that vow all the way back when the eggs first went missing, despite all the tree talk and the promises to save the kids no matter what. He never faltered with elq, and that protected them. He keeps faltering now. Sometimes he doesnt remember the code, or cucurucho, or skeppy. But that doesnt matter, right? Because he’ll protect the eggs. He’ll be the monster. he is the monster. he can and he will protect them even as his seams start ripping and he keeps breaking further and further apart. even at his worst, he’ll do whatever he needs to protect the eggs.
he’ll be the monster. wont he?
#qsmp#he loves his friends and he wants to hurt them#he loves his friends and he doesnt want to hurt them#qsmp badboyhalo#ita like. He was torturing himself with the soul vultures because he kidnapped ron and threw down some scary magma mobs#and then forever changwd rhe whole fuckin narrative with that appreciation room and bad remembered the joy of community#and then cellbit. Where bad was like ‘i see him destroying himself to get the eggs back and i know where that road goes’#’his loved ones dont want that to happen to him. i dont want that to happen to him’#and then purgatory gave him the first actal legitimate lead for finding their kids and he just had to get worse#and so he fucking swandived into self destructive violence (and the cc was purposefully playing qbad more recklessly violent)#(bbgirl couldve been lured into a trap so so easily)#ive lost my point somewhere now im just rotating qbbh in my brain and all the parallels#ah yes. But now theyre out of purgatory. And he refuses to regret what he did because he *had* to do what he could to save dapper#and the other eggs#because he has a huge complex about being the ‘only one who can protect the eggs’ because of a thousand little cuts and his mental health#issues. Like he’s Wrong bur its such a fascinating little direction for his character. Yes king burn thyself on the pure of protection#and then burn in a nuclear blast too because your self sufficiency left you to care for your egg alone#you can take care of the eggs. you can hurt your friends. look at how much you hurt your friends#look st the monster you are . your teeth are sharp and your claws are large#never mind that time you sent tina into a panic attack because you tried to recreate safety#never mind that your friends and family are worried about you#you are falling apart. but so many monsters survive the killing blow
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i think the diamond dogs should play improv games just bc it would amuse me, an ex theater kid, specifically
#ted and beard ofc are reading each others minds#trent is shockingly good at it but only when he forgets to be self conscious#also see: he does both best and worst with ted (best when he's not being self conscious#worst when somehow the prompt gets too touchy or 'romantic' bc Crush Crush Crush Brain Panic)#(please the image of ted in character hugging him or something and trent just. red. brain crashed. no longer improving just frozen. barely#manages to recover and even then it was not subtle. unclear if ted is a) genuinely oblivious b) teasing him and thinks trent knows that#c) something else(??) )#roy is too stiff most of the time but if he gets really into it he gets REALLY into it.#best way to get this result is to involve phoebe or another child#higgins did community theater at some point and is the one teaching them all the games. beard also seems to have done intense research#but higgins is the one with EXPERIENCE#not that i think beard and ted couldn't have done an improv duo in college or something but in this scenario they did not#nate surprisingly is pretty good at it once he gets into it like it takes him a second but#then he's like. really getting into it and he's very quick on his feet#new way to go mad with power (affectionate): the rush you get when you make the perfect snap back comedic line/acting choice#also while trent is so good paired with so many of them i think he and nate would be a hilarious duo. they're SO funny.#they complement each other well and are both quick & clever#esp if it's about a mutual interest (although one of them taking the lead on something else like nate and music while the other plays off t#em is also good) but like#please i just had the iamge of them basically doing a bit where they're like. those mean old gay muppets in the theater?#like trent and nate improv duoing as some bitchy reviewers just going back and forth and it's so FAST and SO funny#beard records it and posts it somewhere and it goes viral.#god don't even get me started on the idea of some sort of official richmond social media/the gang posting random clips on social media#bc the ideas i have are so funny.#also largely trent centric but what do you want from me okay i'm just a little slut.
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Recently started watching White Collar! More interesting than its reputation gives it credit for, but if the network were being at all honest with us, Mozzie would be trans and either a furry, a drag queen, or both
#come on#I've met weird little hackers who don't trust the system#it's okay mozzie i know who you are when you're not on 2008 television#pretty sure the lead actor is gay too#yeah apparently he came out five years later by thanking his husband at an award ceremony#anyway you can tell this is from the same era of television as Leverage#and that Moffat was taking notes for the BBC Sherlock aesthetic#edit: mozzie would only do drag in a 1920s speakeasy themed gay club#where the patrons are required to wear all black and check their cell phones at the door#yes I am thinking of a specific place I know exists#or did when the show was airing (thatnks covid)
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*saying this increasingly frantic* If I get the parallel to 3x11 where LBD calls herself a child and Wukong goes "We both know that's not what you are!" And then later LBD asks him if he would really kill an innocent child to kill her and Wukong says "You're giving me no choice! All that time spent locked away and you haven't changed a bit! I'm going to finish this, like I should have done a long time ago!". I am WAITING for this to be applied to MK. I'm waiting. For the love of god please. Look, look, LBD and MK have their "What I am" parallels, and if MK was sealed in the stone (al la EAMK) but he actually came out a child, and he gave Wukong a choice. Do you get me. Do you understand. MK was actually a child. He was a simple creature, with "no past, no family, and no name". And then he became MK, and made it so Wukong could mentor him rather than destroy him. Yet at the same time, destiny always finds you. You can't run from it (ilu 2x09) or rather you can't run from yourself (destiny and identity are intertwined) (MK literally fails to run from himself in 4x07). SO HERE'S HOW WE GET OUR MK VS THE WORLD CHOICE—
#''I just want to be me. To be MK!'' ''Yeah well- we all know where that leads''#I'm dying screaming shaking#NUWA WHAT DID YOU DO#It's so fun to have another character to yell at.#Wukong was your accomplice in creating MK. I feel it in my BONES#Wukong and Nuwa doing fucked up shit together#God damn besties (or perhaps disgruntled peers?)#idk#I could be so wrong or so right#I'm just. AAAAGUGHGHGH. AUAUUGHHHHHGHGHGHGHG.#Wukong in 4x12 who was like ''One of use could take the Jade Emperor on by themselves'' and I'M TELLING YOU#HE WAS TALKING ABOUT MK THERE#JUST. LOOK. LOOK AT IT ALL#lmk#lego monkie kid#what I am#lmk eamk theory#lmk rant#lmk theme: exchange
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A Biltmore Christmas may be the first Hallmark movie to drive me to fanfic.
#hallmark#a biltmore christmas#time travel#WHERE IS MY POST-CREDITS SCENE SHOWING HOW MARGARET REACTS???#she was one of the best parts of the movie!#you need at least five minutes of her screaming for joy!#also clearly there was a conspiracy of people in the past who knew about the time travel thing so how did that work?#what about that bearded guy on the crew who was CLEARLY another time traveler?#(there is no way that facial hair came from 1947)#also where does the relationship go from there?#how do you adjust?#does tour guide riker help out?#so many unanswered questions can fit into the last scenes of that film and i need answers#also just overall: thanks to people who said this one was worth seeking out because my goodness what a delight#that movie oozed charm#i think maybe my true core fictional love is classic '30s/'40s film because i was digging that vibe#the banter! the patter! the zingers! the perfect blend of cynicism and sentimentality#some of the background stuff was too modern but also some was spot on#that guy who played claude looks like he was born to be a classic Hollywood film star#the leading lady did not fit the vibe at all but she had great chemistry with the movie's leads so i can see why they cast her#the old-timey writer dude was charming#the main lady might be a new favorite hallmark actress (there's only one other on the list)#(watched part of a different film with her in it and she seems to put some of that classic hollywood sass into her roles)#i wasn't sold on the male lead at first but the writing came through for him#when he sits in the chair behind her! when he's trying to guess her personality traits?#charming and absolutely spot-on for the vibe#(the fact that they cast hallmark regulars in the remake is hilarious and also sad because it looks so much worse than the original)#anyway great time had a blast will definitely be rewatching
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the problem is I’m such a staunch believer in the slow buildup, the earnest enjoyment of meandering through terrible story decisions and weird nothing subplots to build up into a conclusion that explodes out from all that as fantastic storytelling and intrigue based on all that buildup, such that it makes it necessary to get through all that or you’re missing something essential, that I’m also a terrible person to talk to about what makes a story good. I can tell you plenty of what actually makes something tight and well-written and all that technical speak but how could anyone take my advice when I so so so love excruciatingly long unnecessarily complex fumbling and weird nonsense that spirals into, inexplicably, weird nonsense that makes you cry your lungs sore
#kipspeak#my point being everyone is too mean about post arr. sure f’lhammin did not have to be our problem but everything after that was like#meandering. Thinking. building. unnerving. they were cooking and i RESPECT their dubious food#i love homestuck and long audio dramas and dnd podcasts and indecipherable fancomics and lego ninjas and khux and im starting to love ffxiv#all incredibly long and made with passion and kinda weird and hard to get into#said with THE MOST affection in my heart#I could structure a kids show and I know how to write for tv but in my heart of hearts#I just want to write an impossibly long absurdity epic that is weird and a little bad and also makes you feel shrimp emotions#ALSO I feel 0% bad for not respecting ur theory or opinion if you haven’t played khux/dr/recoded I don’t feel bad about it at all I’m right#understand what’s going on in them and I’ll respect your theories. it’s like comics enjoyers but less chaotic#don’t let me get into comics. superheroes never really catch my interest but if you let me get into comics I’d explode#‘it gets really good’ is a genuine way to interest me#also don’t let me get into anime that do this. I already watched a thousand episodes of detective Conan—#maybe it’s a careful balance of weird and Good Storytelling Seeds. it has to have internal logic for one; and it has to have a structure#It has to be leading somewhere. and I want to see where it leads#we are GOING through the disney worlds. all of them. they are COOKING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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This man really went through a public meltdown and spedrun all 5 stages of grief within 2 weeks 😭
#and where did it all lead you?? back here#we are going to be seeing what an ugly naked redbull will look like soon#manifesting the racing point-ification of mercedes and them playing catchup until 2026 📿🤲🕯#*p
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